A collection of your essays. That’s basically what David Sedaris has done for his whole career and he has like 5 houses. The essays don’t have to connect to each other.
You already know the essays are good because people like them. I would love to share your stories with people who aren’t on Substack but my only option at the moment would be to print them out and staple the pages together.
Please don’t make me give someone a stack of stapled papers for their birthday.
I guess I should add: the essays would have to all be in the genre of personal memoir but you don’t necessarily have to arrange them in chronological order.
Please say you have the audio of the sound of a log banging against a rock in an underground stream, because I am desperate to hear what this sounds like.
Someone left it on Reddit but unfortunately I took it down from there and I can’t find it. It didn’t sound *as* loud but there was a rhythm to it. So the idea is basically if you have a pool underground and there’s a log that got stuck. It jams the flow, gets knocked around and then releases it when the water goes over the top. Then it fills again, etc. it was very strange timing and I wrote the story as I remember feeling at the time, which was just scared shitless. I do have some religious beliefs but they’re more like “nefarious patterns act on the world in ways that seem coincidental.”
Thanks Spite. I wrote this one a long while ago and just did some mild tweaking. Its always awkward to put these out there because I write them as I remember them but at the same time I’m almost forty and just in my kitchen.
Please write a book. PLEASE.
I have mentally already pre-ordered 5 copies
What if it’s not good, though?
About my life? Or just anything?
A collection of your essays. That’s basically what David Sedaris has done for his whole career and he has like 5 houses. The essays don’t have to connect to each other.
You already know the essays are good because people like them. I would love to share your stories with people who aren’t on Substack but my only option at the moment would be to print them out and staple the pages together.
Please don’t make me give someone a stack of stapled papers for their birthday.
I guess I should add: the essays would have to all be in the genre of personal memoir but you don’t necessarily have to arrange them in chronological order.
I feel it in the subscriber numbers whenever I switch genre
My mom would sue me
From what you’ve written about your mom, I believe you. And that has happened to memoirists recently. Let me think on this. There must be a way.
What Maps said.
Please say you have the audio of the sound of a log banging against a rock in an underground stream, because I am desperate to hear what this sounds like.
Someone left it on Reddit but unfortunately I took it down from there and I can’t find it. It didn’t sound *as* loud but there was a rhythm to it. So the idea is basically if you have a pool underground and there’s a log that got stuck. It jams the flow, gets knocked around and then releases it when the water goes over the top. Then it fills again, etc. it was very strange timing and I wrote the story as I remember feeling at the time, which was just scared shitless. I do have some religious beliefs but they’re more like “nefarious patterns act on the world in ways that seem coincidental.”
I absolutely love your writing. And this scared the bejeezus out of me!
Thanks Spite. I wrote this one a long while ago and just did some mild tweaking. Its always awkward to put these out there because I write them as I remember them but at the same time I’m almost forty and just in my kitchen.
Well, please keep writing them. Your stories about rural Washington are consistently fantastic. Very evocative and suitably weird.
That night, I closed all the blinds so that I could see no tress.
TYPO: should be trees.
Creepy story. Moral: stay out of the northwest United States.
Argh. Updated. And all the public parks are lovely.
I've seen some scary tresses.
Great writing!
The best spooky story!
Thanks Betsy!