I spent most of my formative years believing I was tall - I was taller than class mates but I stopped growing at 11 and now am on the small side of average. It’s interesting to shift perspective from being tall to discovering you are actually rather small.
Agreed wholeheartedly, and I was 6’3” in sixth grade 😂. I've found that many of us Large Folk (at least those of us who are self aware) end up being kinder and more aware of how they make others feel than normies. You can sort of go two ways, be a goon or be a protector of the weak, and I am grateful to all my fellow big ‘uns who fall into the latter category.
It was kind of easy to hurt someone from wrestling so I actually stopped that fairly early on. And then I tried to be over gentle during sports, except for tug of war where you could really let go.
"before he could unload any five dollar words on me, I apologized to him for him having hit me in a way that was clearly his fault, and helped him up and brushed him off and he stopped doing that from then on."
This is outstanding. It seems the height and strength advantages also applied to your brain.
This story is doubly hilarious because I was the smallest student through age 15. I like to imagine if we attended the same elementary school we would have naturally gravitated towards each other in a symbiotic relationship.
For the first five years of elementary school, students were required to line up by height. The better to keep everyone in sight?
Anywho, I would be up front in every single class and sometimes tasked to be a human doorstop and hold the door for everyone.
One day in Kindergarten my giant bobble head on a teeny body was irresistible to other students as I stood against the classroom door. They would poke my forehead causing my giant head to bonk into the big wooden door. Multiply this by the two dozen kids in my class and it became percussive.
Solidarity, brother. I came out tall as hell and stayed that way. My white American dad was 6'2", and my Korean mom was tall too, for post-war Korea, at about 5'7". I'm tall for 2025 America, as a 6' woman, but I've noticed I stand out less since moving to the Upper Peninsula. Lots of descendents of Nordic lumberjacks up here, absolutely thriving in the ice and snow, making tall-ass kids who are awesome at hockey.
Anyway, I love it. Team Hightower forever. ☁️😶🌫️👍☁️
My family has the opposite genes. My dad and brother lied about being 100 lb on their driver's licenses. Both didn't hit their growth spurt until their junior year of high school. They became 6'2" and 6'5" respectively.
My dad was so small in high school that when he joined the gymnastics team they didn't have any uniforms small enough so they hung loosely on him.
It's comical looking at pictures of my brother and I. I was 6' in 7th grade. My brother would attack me and I would just lay on top of him to pin him with my bodyweight.
This is interesting, really funny, and well written. I have a totally different life experience, more like General Tom Thumb’s apocryphal one. Physical size makes an obvious difference if you’re doing extreme physical things, but it pretty much ends there. That’s not where I live. More like a fighter pilot.
What did people do before New Balance? None of the stores in my hometown sold New Balance, so my mom would drive me half an hour to the next town over so they could sell us the one pair of shoes across two counties that fit me. It was kind of weird when I realized that most people actually shop for shoes in the sense that they had options and could form opinions about which ones they liked or didn't like.
I’m a little of 5’10”, but while I tend to be sort of “self-aware” about my personality —as much as a degraded human being can be— I literally had no idea this meant I was “not tall” until I was 35 years old and met a composer whom I’d become pals with online. He walked up to me and exclaimed “oh, you’re short!” and I was like the Richard Pryor gag: “I am?! Oh God!” It was later explained to me that I come off as taller than I am because I seem confident, which is even stranger to me, as I am not.
I used to think what I was unfairly and unnaturally given was some kind of verbal ability, some variety of intelligence; I no longer believe that to be especially important. The real blessing I received was: I never fell for materialism or naturalism; the incoherences in them were detectable to me intuitionally before I had encountered their articulation; I never stopped believing that honor matters or that love is worth living for, even when I had none of either in my disgusting little heart. I feel near guilt about this gift; I wish everyone had it.
I think of how lucky it is to feel this way when I encounter someone who doesn’t even believe math is real because there’s no actual physical representation of numbers.
I never got quite that bad, although I definitely did give it an honest look.
I spent most of my formative years believing I was tall - I was taller than class mates but I stopped growing at 11 and now am on the small side of average. It’s interesting to shift perspective from being tall to discovering you are actually rather small.
pouring one out for you
one day, there will be a cure.
You didn't turn into a bully. That's awesome! 😀👍🏻
I’m going to go full Biff when I’m in the nursing home just so I can know what it’s like.
I'm a 6'0" woman in my mid-60s, so I get being absurdly tall (though not strong) at a young age!
high five way up high
Agreed wholeheartedly, and I was 6’3” in sixth grade 😂. I've found that many of us Large Folk (at least those of us who are self aware) end up being kinder and more aware of how they make others feel than normies. You can sort of go two ways, be a goon or be a protector of the weak, and I am grateful to all my fellow big ‘uns who fall into the latter category.
It was kind of easy to hurt someone from wrestling so I actually stopped that fairly early on. And then I tried to be over gentle during sports, except for tug of war where you could really let go.
That so interesting! Now that you mention it, maybe that’s why always dated tall men. Mind successfully blown.
"before he could unload any five dollar words on me, I apologized to him for him having hit me in a way that was clearly his fault, and helped him up and brushed him off and he stopped doing that from then on."
This is outstanding. It seems the height and strength advantages also applied to your brain.
He was such a jerk! Who gets an emotional rush from trying to mow down a bunch of early twenties kids?!?
Being the largest is has been a great advantage in virtually every mammalian species.
“Me BIG! GOOD!” is a thought that goes back 130 million years. Talk about hard wired.
But thank God you weren't mean— you have used your superpower for good.
BTW, where did you get those genes? What family members were born super large? Or could they remember that far back?
My dad is average and my mom is slightly above average. Thinking it skipped a generation from my grandfather.
Kudos to the author / gentleman sasquatch and his mini-squatch!
Just trying to have the moral decency to be big.
This story is doubly hilarious because I was the smallest student through age 15. I like to imagine if we attended the same elementary school we would have naturally gravitated towards each other in a symbiotic relationship.
For the first five years of elementary school, students were required to line up by height. The better to keep everyone in sight?
Anywho, I would be up front in every single class and sometimes tasked to be a human doorstop and hold the door for everyone.
One day in Kindergarten my giant bobble head on a teeny body was irresistible to other students as I stood against the classroom door. They would poke my forehead causing my giant head to bonk into the big wooden door. Multiply this by the two dozen kids in my class and it became percussive.
It sounds like we would still have been part of the family of disproportionately big heads. Well met skull friend
Solidarity, brother. I came out tall as hell and stayed that way. My white American dad was 6'2", and my Korean mom was tall too, for post-war Korea, at about 5'7". I'm tall for 2025 America, as a 6' woman, but I've noticed I stand out less since moving to the Upper Peninsula. Lots of descendents of Nordic lumberjacks up here, absolutely thriving in the ice and snow, making tall-ass kids who are awesome at hockey.
Anyway, I love it. Team Hightower forever. ☁️😶🌫️👍☁️
Chop down them trees, Midge!
My family has the opposite genes. My dad and brother lied about being 100 lb on their driver's licenses. Both didn't hit their growth spurt until their junior year of high school. They became 6'2" and 6'5" respectively.
My dad was so small in high school that when he joined the gymnastics team they didn't have any uniforms small enough so they hung loosely on him.
It's comical looking at pictures of my brother and I. I was 6' in 7th grade. My brother would attack me and I would just lay on top of him to pin him with my bodyweight.
I ended up being 6'2" also.
I want to congratulate you on achieving the one true, correct height.
Yes. I thought of going past it but stopped unlike my rebel brother.
Also this is hilarious I literally laughed out loud many times.
I laughed with love.
My sixth grade mustache thanks you, Jeanne.
This essay made me happy.
Heck yeah!
This is interesting, really funny, and well written. I have a totally different life experience, more like General Tom Thumb’s apocryphal one. Physical size makes an obvious difference if you’re doing extreme physical things, but it pretty much ends there. That’s not where I live. More like a fighter pilot.
What did people do before New Balance? None of the stores in my hometown sold New Balance, so my mom would drive me half an hour to the next town over so they could sell us the one pair of shoes across two counties that fit me. It was kind of weird when I realized that most people actually shop for shoes in the sense that they had options and could form opinions about which ones they liked or didn't like.
lol. Yes. I relate to this. We only had the New Balance. It was just the only possible shoe.
“…a little kid that looked like a young buffalo had been accidentally transformed into a human being by magic.”
King of America origin story right here.
Definitely one among my many origin stories
Absolutely delightful and hilarious writing. Some Guy, you are an absolute MUST read in my collection of at least 3 dozen Substacks.
I am honored, Brett!
I’m a little of 5’10”, but while I tend to be sort of “self-aware” about my personality —as much as a degraded human being can be— I literally had no idea this meant I was “not tall” until I was 35 years old and met a composer whom I’d become pals with online. He walked up to me and exclaimed “oh, you’re short!” and I was like the Richard Pryor gag: “I am?! Oh God!” It was later explained to me that I come off as taller than I am because I seem confident, which is even stranger to me, as I am not.
I used to think what I was unfairly and unnaturally given was some kind of verbal ability, some variety of intelligence; I no longer believe that to be especially important. The real blessing I received was: I never fell for materialism or naturalism; the incoherences in them were detectable to me intuitionally before I had encountered their articulation; I never stopped believing that honor matters or that love is worth living for, even when I had none of either in my disgusting little heart. I feel near guilt about this gift; I wish everyone had it.
I guess I should be more direct: God never stopped being a possibility for me, even when I was an atheist. That was lucky.
I think of how lucky it is to feel this way when I encounter someone who doesn’t even believe math is real because there’s no actual physical representation of numbers.
I never got quite that bad, although I definitely did give it an honest look.